Posted in Advice

Irony and Serendipity

I have to share this story, for a variety of reasons, but the best one being that I have been on this roll of being single and LOVING it. So go figure, once I’m at this point where I’m happy, content, and understanding of being single, I find myself here.

 

First; there is a guy who I happen to know, through a common link of a fur baby. I also need to preface this story with the fact that I never once gave an inclination or nudge toward more than friends. But I digress…

So in the recent weeks, he’s been much more forward in the land of entering my personal bubble and it’s not welcomed or appreciated. Every weekend, it would start with a text about getting food together which was never going to happen for a number of reasons, but the primary being I wasn’t interested in anything that could be construed as a date….

Finally after enough run-ins with other circumstances than him directly, he texted me and asked if I was mad at him. To which the obvious answer was no, since I wasn’t. It was the fur baby being bad, and stress at work and me wanting to just be on my own.

 

It all comes to a head when he’s texting me after I say I’m out of city and have brunch plans, with him going out on a limb and pretty much asking me out on a date… to which I had no idea how to respond without being a little too direct. I ended up at brunch with my friend and we discussed the best way to remedy the situation. A response was needed, but I had to think about how to word it. I couldn’t just slay this poor guy but I had to put the friendship at stake. It was either, I’m your friend and that’s it or we’re just not friends.

After I responded, I got a response hours later to which he claims he feels the same way “that he sees me as a friend, but was confused because we had gone from being ‘close’ to not close in the span of two days…” uh first, bruh, we aren’t close. We’re people who happen to have a link, which are our fur babies. We’re not people who go out for drinks together. Sure, I asked him if he wanted to take the dogs to the beach, but there was no romantic gesture tied in. I just wanted company one day for the beach. We’re not people who go out to dinner and get drinks, we’re not people who hang out one-on-one, it’s just not what this dynamic is. So to me, if we’re close,  I talk to you about my life in a deep way, we hug, we laugh, we cry, we share our stories, and shed tears together. My people have seen me through some shitty lows and amazing highs, but my people are who I call my family.

 

We were not close. But the irony of this all, is since this encounter, almost a week ago, when I saw him this week, he was a massive dick. So I guess there goes the prospect of friendship… all because his ego couldn’t handle it? I never gave a sign to make a move.

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Posted in Advice

A Date? A DATE!

So here we go, I’ve got another story… one that starts off quite funny actually.

A co-worker was the link in the chain to making it happen. (*thanks Christian*)

Apparently the guy, Cole*, asked Christian if I was seeing anyone, and Christian took it upon himself to help set that up… and I’m glad he did, I totally checked him out the two days he came up to the office. Well after giving Christian my number to give to Cole, he texted me and we’ve been talking since then.

It’s the first time since my Nashville trip I’d had interest to go out with someone and he’s closer to my age… so that’s a step in the right direction I think.

Will follow up Friday. Wish me luck with this prospective date.

Posted in Advice

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was”

In honor of our generation’s “Pretty in Pink,” “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “16 Candles,” and “Clueless,” I present “Mean Girls.”

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Quite possibly the greatest movie of our generation. Quotes for years, a view of our social world in 2004, and a sad glimpse into what our world would soon value.

The list of quotes is endless, but one of the best and most memorable of quotes was when Aaron asked Cady what day it was… and behold.

Happy Mean Girl’s Day!

Posted in Advice

Coming Together

Today marks the 29th birthday of my brother, amazing to think he’s one year away from the big 3-0. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve gotten closer, but we very much grew up with a typical sibling rivalry. Between wanting our parent’s attention and one upping each other, we’ve never really been friends.

As we age though, I see the similarities we have each other are becoming more and more clear. We were in fact raised by the same parents, and while we each take after a little more of each respective parent, we’re creating our own relationship as two adults who can peacefully coexist.

 

So for anyone out there who despairs over not having a close relationship, fret not because you gotta put in the time. I’ve learned that sometimes I have to push harder than I thought to get a little ground, but when I get through, that is the greatest feeling. It’s creating a friendship and relationship that only a sibling can have with another.

 

Posted in Advice

18 to 25, what a love I’ve lived

I didn’t think I’d change so much from 22 to 25, so it’s like a whole different life I lived when I was 18.

I don’t have a single regret for having made any of the decisions I made, and I would make 99% of them all over again. The choices I made then, have made me into the person I am today. I think the one thing that resonates with me more than anything was this exchange.

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I fell for a guy at 19 who I truly believed was the guy for me. We were friends, but also we were (for a short time) partners. We were never fated to make it work though. I just denied it, in the naivety of being 19 and truly holding onto the idea of true love and a soul mate. He challenged me but also made me laugh. But when we were just babies learning about the world, him 21 and me 19, we weren’t ready nor did we know what love really was.

It took a long time to truly get over this love of mine. I never believed our story was closed. It was just taking a moment to restructure itself before bringing us back together. And it’s been that way, over the years we would check in with each other and keep each other kinda in the loop about our various undertakings. Then in a big blow out we ended it all, the friendship, the love, and just left the pieces to sit forever.

3 years later and we reconnected, but I realized he and I had become different people. I was a little more jaded and cold to the world, and he was more receptive to admitting that he loved me. I finally had the upper hand with him and I took it to my complete advantage. He was saying everything that I had so desperately wanted to hear all those years ago, and when he said them to me now, well my heart gave a leap to life and here I was stuck in an impossible situation. Was I going to make this same mistake a third time, potentially for yet another devastating heart break, one which I wasn’t sure I could come back from, or would I be smarter to just walk away for good and love him from afar?

I chose to let him go, I’ll always love him, I can admit that so easily and so fearlessly because he’ll have the one thing that no one else had. He’s my first love to whom I gave my heart and soul for. As I told him, I would’ve waited for him, no matter the distance or time, because I felt he was the one my heart wanted to curl up next to at the end of each and every day. Even now, I do wonder, if we truly tried and gave it our all, would we truly make it?

We know each other’s quirks and habits, even after all these years. We get each other’s humor and how to push each other’s buttons. But since we were together in 2010, we haven’t been in the same city. How do we know if we could even be in the same city together, let alone the same place?

I know he’s got regrets to how he was young and stupid, but I loved him and will always love him.

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My life though since losing that part of myself has changed me. I now approach many relationships with one foot out the door, no attachment to the people who I let into my world, I keep them at an arm’s length and let them walk away thinking it was their idea to keep myself from hurting them. Perhaps that’s masochistic, but I prefer to let them think they’ve broken my heart than for me to do that to them. Perhaps it’s because I remember clearly as if it happened yesterday the pain I experienced when my heart was stomped on and left in the dirt. Perhaps it’s made me a little softer to the feelings of others, but why do I just feel cynical at the end of the day?

Perhaps I’m just not cut out for love these days, and that’s okay.

Posted in Advice

Imagining Life 5 Years From Now

It’s hard to believe that in five years I’ll be hitting that 3 decade mark. It’s funny, it seems so far away and yet so close. The question that remains though is, who am I going to be in 5 years? Will I have accomplished all I’m hoping to do by then; will I have surpassed it or will I have stagnated?IMG_3172

I’m envisioning 5 years from now, I own my own house/land/property, I maintain a life-work balance and I’m not afraid to go after what I want. I’d like to think by then I have found someone who I have been building a life with and creating a world and sanctuary that is ours and ours alone. I’d like to think I’m in a city where I want to put down roots and I’m also working on my own business. I’m living a life that 18 year old me always thought about but wasn’t sure if was possible.

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I’m hoping to be living a life that I am proud of because it is entirely my own and the decisions I make are for the long-term. I’m hoping in 5 years I have a plan for the next 10 and I’m already working to implement the goals I’m envisioning now.

 

 

Posted in Travel

The Moments That Give You Life List

I think everyone needs to come up with a list of accomplishments they want to have checked off in their lifetime. It’s not a bucket list. It’s a list that gives you total freedom and exhilaration. The adventures and places that make your heart soar.

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My list isn’t nearly complete but I have a few:

  1. Sky diving
  2. Riding horses in Mongolia
  3. Ski in the Alps (in all countries that the Alps sit- Austria, France, Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Slovenia) because why not?
  4. Climb Mount Fuji
  5. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
  6. Ride a top level Spanish horse
  7. Climb to a base camp on Everest
  8. Parasail
  9. Paraglide
  10. Zip line through another rainforest
  11. See another active volcano
  12. Go on a real African safari
  13. Stay at the Giraffe Manor in Kenya
  14. See the Northern Lights in Finland
  15. Go to Moscow and St. Petersburg
  16. Go to Tibet
  17. Trek up in Sapa (Vietnam)
  18. Swim in the world’s largest pool in UAE
  19. Go to Machu Picchu
  20. See the salt flats in Bolivia
  21. Go to Malaysia
  22. Visit Dubai & Abu Dhabi
  23. Go to Australia- Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, Darwin
  24. Visit all of New Zealand
  25. Go back to Ireland and ride more horses
  26. Buy land and build a horse barn/cabin on the land
  27. Rescue OTTB’s and start a baby horse
  28. Adopt unwanted puppies from either other countries or here in the states
  29. Run my own business
  30. Start my own business

The fun part of this list is that it’s only going to keep on growing and changing as I get older. Maybe some of these goals will change, but for now, this is what I what to do in the next five years.

Posted in Love

Bodie Barks emBarks to the Beach

Beach trips are a highlight for everybody… just ask a friend.

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Somer’s Point

Now I love the beach. And I love my dog. I’ve had the hardest time combining the two, and then I learned about Somer’s Point, a beach south of Atlantic City. It’s an off-leash dog beach, and it’s absolutely paradisical!

The first time we stepped on the beach, Bodie took off to the waves and jumped right in. I walked miles that first day with Bodie, working on his recall and obedience with so many things going on and surprisingly he was very good (I think partially since he was worried I’d leave him) and didn’t stop for a second while we were there.

I like to think I give the best life I can to Bodie considering we live in the city and he doesn’t get to be as free as he likes and was as a puppy.

After learning Somer’s Point was in fact much closer than I had thought, we make a weekly trek out there for a few hours of fun in the sun.

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Seeing Bodie frolick and love life makes my days better and the fact that he does in fact have a pretty awesome life makes my life better.

Of course after we get home from the sandy shore, we need a bath. Bodie has learned that post beach days, he’s immediately sent to the tub for a quick spa day.

img_4323Resigned to his fate, Bodie uses the power of the puppy eyes to try to sway me from soaping him up and scrubbing him down.

Unfortunately for him, I’m unswayed and the bath continues.

Another one of his positive qualities, he’s really easy to bathe. He doesn’t try to jump out of the tub and will sit there and let you soap him up and rinse him off without much fight.

Bodie’s adventures are just beginning. Soon we’ll be taking the South by storm and shaking it up, more to come on those details!

Posted in Travel

Autumn Hikes; tough to beat

Now that the weather is changing it’s the perfect time to get out and hike.

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With views like this, it’s hard to imagine anywhere else to spend afternoons!

Bodie and I enjoy going to the Wissahickon trails and then celebrate with a hard earned cool-down and swim (well Bodie swims). With the changing of the leaves and cool breezes it’s gym pants and sweatshirt season.

It’s amazing to see we’re in the middle of the woods not more than 10 miles out of the city. It’s a haven and heaven away from the hectic life in the city. Between parking being tough in the city and traffic getting out there, the best time we like to go is on our weekends!

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Bodie loves to get in the water, no matter what, it can be a mud puddle, a small creek, a lake, a stream, a slow moving river, or the ocean.

After hiking a solid five miles, Bodie was readily looking for a nice body of water to lay down in. His favorite way of cooling down, is to fully submerge himself in the water and then drinking to his heart’s content.

I never get enough of his antics and I’m so glad this little monster has improved my life a million times over, even with our bad days.

 

#bodiebarks

Posted in Advice

Food For Thought

Sometimes we all need a little time to get away from what we’re too busy staring at and we lose sight of the bigger picture. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the social media spiral, where we’re attached to problems that are far removed from us, crying for justice with the quick click of keys but no actual mobility to make a difference.

The bigger picture is preserving our legacy for our future generations; our land, air, water, and planet. We can’t continue on this path where we are so thoughtless to what our actions are creating for the future…

Perspective needs to be on all aspects of our lives, not just in our individual bubbles.