Posted in Advice

Veterans Day 

Today is a day we all need to take a moment to remember those who have given their lives to honor and defend this nation we call home. To the families who have lost their loved ones for us to be safe each night. To the kids who celebrate holidays through a screen. To the wives and husbands who see firsthand the aftermath of war, something we couldn’t imagine in our wildest dreams. To the men and women who willing fight for us. Today is a day we honor you. 
Let today be about honoring our heroes and remember our country is great because of the men and women who bravely go toward the fight. 
We are in your debt for our freedom. As the daughter to a soldier, sister to an airman, friend to countless marines and seamen, I am so grateful for each and every one of you. 
Happy Veteran’s Day. 

Posted in Advice

Thank You to Hillary for Inspiring Our Generation

I tend to not get political because it seems fruitless at times but I believe I need to say my piece. While many of us, about half our nation, are heartbroken and devastated about the outcome of this election, now is the time that we choose to band together and unite as a nation of oneness while embracing our roots and foundation of who we are today. Yes it’s easy, far too easy, to point fingers and place blame on others but we are better than this. We are a country of people who have had a fire lit inside us all. A cause greater than ourselves and a reason for us to start taking steps into creating a stronger nation. If we want to see changes, WE must be the changes. We must heed the wise words of two of our nation’s most powerful, influential, and inspiring women, our First Lady Michelle Obama and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. 

We must always go high, and we must always not lose sight of our dreams.

I know we’re floored by this loss but perhaps this is the wake up call our generation needed to understand we have made SO much progress but there is still so much more left to do. Perhaps now our voices will come together and fight for the equality of the world we need. Perhaps Hillary losing is the spark we needed to see all the things past generations have fought so hard for aren’t our given right but rather fights we haven’t had to be in. We will now fight harder to keep our bodies our own, to hold people accountable for their actions- no matter their gender, race, religion, or any other dividing quality. We need to be kinder now than ever before and we need to pull together. 
We’re stronger together and we’ve only just begun. 

Posted in Advice

Loving yourself is the hardest but greatest achievement of this life

“they always told me
i would go somewhere
and i would fall in love.

what they didn’t know
was that i would go far
and i would fall in love with myself.”

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in drinking the kool-aid and feeling like you’re falling behind at times when everyone else is getting engaged and married and you’re like a bump on a log thinking “what am I doing wrong?” The answer is NOTHING. Don’t drink the damn kool-aid. Be a young, adventurous, single, brave, independent adult.

Too often do we get stuck in thinking we have to do what everyone else is doing around us. I think we all need to stick to our own timelines, do things that make our heart beat a little faster and make us smile a little bigger.

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I am wholly in love with the idea of loving myself first that when people meet me, they can’t help but be attracted because I’m so in love with my own life, I don’t need anyone to complete it; just enhance it a little with their own flair.

I shouldn’t be completely anyone else nor should they be for me. I want someone who’s going to stand beside me but call me out when I’m over the line. Someone who’s going to make me laugh but laugh at me when it’s called for. Someone who’s going to drive me up a wall for the stupidest reasons but every night still wanna cuddle with me. But I don’t need someone who’s going to make my life perfect, or someone who’s going to fix all the problems, or fix me, or someone who’s going to be my “knight in shining armor,” please son, I am a badass princess who can fix her own life. I don’t need someone who wants to control me or teach me their way is better. I complete my own life.

Raise your standards girl. Raise yourself. Raise the bar so high because the right guy will find a way to get there and beyond.

Posted in Advice

For the Moments of Fear

It’s the moments when your palms are so sweaty you know the world can wash their hands under yours. It’s when your heart is beating so fast, you’re sure it’s going to stop. Your stomach is stuck in your throat and you know you still have to go. You get flustered and fall all over your tongue.

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But these are the moments that define you. Be brave. Be bold. Do the impossible. Make it look easy. Don’t fall for the easy route, the comfortable places. Let the discomfort soak in and let it teach you the ways of the world.

Posted in Advice

About That….

I hate admitting it. I hate conceding. But here is it. Truth bomb time; your mom is ALWAYS right…

At least in the game of romantics, she’s right. Maybe you should try that new hair trend (but that’s on you!).

Hear me out. Every girl has heard in her life, by her mom,

“If he’s interested, you’ll know” or a variation of that; “If he’s into you, he’ll find a way to get in touch with you.” “You won’t have to wonder if he’s into you.”

It kills me a little to admit how true this is though. I laugh because while I was in Nashville, I met a guy who lives in Florida. Since July, we’ve talked on and off, with jokes about making plans, but this proves that point these women of age know.. if he’s interested to ANY degree, he’ll find a way to get in touch with you/keep in touch with you.

If you reach out to him more than he reaches out to you, please stop. You are not desperate. You are not needy. You do not need HIM. There are so many quotes and sayings about not being someone else’s option, and it’s true. You have so much worth and value past being with someone who is already showing they won’t treat you right.

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If he flips a switch to bring you back, you make him WORK. Don’t devalue yourself for the sake of “wanting someone.” Don’t let yourself get swept away with beautiful, hollow words. Create standards and hold everyone to them. If they don’t come through, they’re not right for you.

If he likes you, he’s going to make an effort. Don’t let yourself think otherwise.

 

Posted in Advice

60/40

Breaking down the odds, 40% I’d date him. 60% says I shouldn’t. But why not?

He’s good looking, sweet, smart, funny, and thoughtful.

When I weigh and pros and cons, well I’m just going with the flow. He says he doesn’t want a relationship but he’s going out on dates with me. See here’s how different he and I already are. When I didn’t want a relationship, I didn’t date anyone. And I definitely didn’t go on multiple dates with someone.

 

But here’s the think, I’m a hypocrite. I tell my friend that if he’s interested, he’ll make an effort. My guy friends tell me if the guy is interested, he’ll reach out. And yet, for a few days I was the one trying… well here’s that 60% that is coming up over and over, I’m taking a step back and not texting him. I have better things to do with my time than wait around for him, and if he does come around… he’ll have to work at it.

Here’s to doing you.

Posted in Advice

Here’s to trying something new

I believe firmly in the way of living to enrich the lives of others around us and not just taking. In an effort to start living what I’m preaching, I joined Learning Ally to volunteer my time to helping create audiobooks for various books; textbooks, novels, etc to those who are visually impaired or have dyslexia. I happened to meet some people who work for the organization when I was walking Bodie down the river and saw a very well-behaved lab and a woman holding a harness.

After a quick chat with them, I then learned about what Learning Ally does and told them I would love to volunteer. So I’ve signed up, and just got approved. Have to get the training and then it’s off to go change some lives!

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It can be tough to find something that thrills you to want to do what you can to improve someone else’s life, but when you find that spark, follow it.

Posted in Advice

Irony and Serendipity

I have to share this story, for a variety of reasons, but the best one being that I have been on this roll of being single and LOVING it. So go figure, once I’m at this point where I’m happy, content, and understanding of being single, I find myself here.

 

First; there is a guy who I happen to know, through a common link of a fur baby. I also need to preface this story with the fact that I never once gave an inclination or nudge toward more than friends. But I digress…

So in the recent weeks, he’s been much more forward in the land of entering my personal bubble and it’s not welcomed or appreciated. Every weekend, it would start with a text about getting food together which was never going to happen for a number of reasons, but the primary being I wasn’t interested in anything that could be construed as a date….

Finally after enough run-ins with other circumstances than him directly, he texted me and asked if I was mad at him. To which the obvious answer was no, since I wasn’t. It was the fur baby being bad, and stress at work and me wanting to just be on my own.

 

It all comes to a head when he’s texting me after I say I’m out of city and have brunch plans, with him going out on a limb and pretty much asking me out on a date… to which I had no idea how to respond without being a little too direct. I ended up at brunch with my friend and we discussed the best way to remedy the situation. A response was needed, but I had to think about how to word it. I couldn’t just slay this poor guy but I had to put the friendship at stake. It was either, I’m your friend and that’s it or we’re just not friends.

After I responded, I got a response hours later to which he claims he feels the same way “that he sees me as a friend, but was confused because we had gone from being ‘close’ to not close in the span of two days…” uh first, bruh, we aren’t close. We’re people who happen to have a link, which are our fur babies. We’re not people who go out for drinks together. Sure, I asked him if he wanted to take the dogs to the beach, but there was no romantic gesture tied in. I just wanted company one day for the beach. We’re not people who go out to dinner and get drinks, we’re not people who hang out one-on-one, it’s just not what this dynamic is. So to me, if we’re close,  I talk to you about my life in a deep way, we hug, we laugh, we cry, we share our stories, and shed tears together. My people have seen me through some shitty lows and amazing highs, but my people are who I call my family.

 

We were not close. But the irony of this all, is since this encounter, almost a week ago, when I saw him this week, he was a massive dick. So I guess there goes the prospect of friendship… all because his ego couldn’t handle it? I never gave a sign to make a move.

Posted in Advice

A Date? A DATE!

So here we go, I’ve got another story… one that starts off quite funny actually.

A co-worker was the link in the chain to making it happen. (*thanks Christian*)

Apparently the guy, Cole*, asked Christian if I was seeing anyone, and Christian took it upon himself to help set that up… and I’m glad he did, I totally checked him out the two days he came up to the office. Well after giving Christian my number to give to Cole, he texted me and we’ve been talking since then.

It’s the first time since my Nashville trip I’d had interest to go out with someone and he’s closer to my age… so that’s a step in the right direction I think.

Will follow up Friday. Wish me luck with this prospective date.