If someone told me, that I’d be going down a familiar yet scary road, 5 years later, I’d laugh. Here I am, in a situation with potentially another person, playing the long distance game for (at least in this case, there is an end in sight) the time being and hoping it’s all worth it. I believe in my heart it is.
This is that big love, that one which wars are started over, the one which it sears your soul and you can’t remember anyone before this person. Perhaps I’m just making it all up and hoping for the best, but my soul pulls to him. There are so many factors that make me pause, but it’s the way his voice lights in a fire in my soul. It’s the passion that simmers below the surface, waiting for the right moment to be. I fear, my detachment, for the distance. Until it’s set that I’m going to pick my life up, I’m just playing.
Not playing to hurt, but playing because my heart is already there. My heart was left in the hands of the sweetest man I’ve met. Nothing sparks my interest here. I can’t even pretend. So while it’s hard to say, and hear some of the sweet things, I know in my heart, it’s all true. I’m just removed from getting the payout.