Posted in Advice, Love

Can You Fall For A Friend? Will It Work?

You know how it starts, guy meets girl. They hang out and get to know each other. They decide to try and start to fall in love. They laugh and smile and begin to create a life together. And sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t. It’s funny how life is like that, huh. We think we’re on a path that entails someone we can’t imagine a life without and then all of a sudden, we lose them. Either because they can’t give us what we want and need, or because we just happen to grow apart, or because it just wasn’t meant to last. Life’s funny like that, it sometimes rips the rug from right under us and what’s left to do but move on and grow up. Change and embrace the new you. But rarely do you get the chance to fall for a friend and create that story. Plus if it happens, what if it all dies and breaks down? Is losing the friendship worth trying a relationship? Probably not, but it’s ironic how that seems to happen when we least expect it.

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I personally think a friendship can turn into something more, but it’s rare. It’s so hard to know that line and understand what you’re considering losing should shit hit the fan and is it worth it all? Sure, falling in love sounds great, but why bother? More often than not you get let down by those closest to you, no one quite knows you like your family and it’s hard to reconcile that when you find someone and create a life with them. They don’t know your quirks or why you do what you do. They see you as the adult in front of them, not understanding what makes you, you. It’s hard to reconcile it, because in so many ways who you are stems from how you were raised and how you were seen. I believe incontrovertibly that who we were as a child is who we are as adults and it then becomes a reflection of who we become as adults in this world.

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I had an interesting conversation about relationships at work today and the idea of statutes of limitations for making mistakes and we have no limit. Mistakes are always going to be in our lives, no matter how much we think we can prepare, we so can’t think we’re not going to mess up from time to time. I think the hard part is setting a limit and then choosing to not push past it. To respect the line drawn in the sand and not play there anymore. When crossing lines, it gets so messy and so confusing and so blurred, it’s hard to know what is up and what is down. But I feel if you’re both game, that’s when it can work out.

 

It can be true magic. It can be what fairy tale love stories are written about. It can be the end game.

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