Posted in Advice

Love Changes you as you get older, without you even seeing it

Somehow we’re adults and trying to figure out this world called life. How and when did that happen? It’s funny too when I sit back and look at the life I’ve lived thus far and how much farther I have to go, I realize how much I’ve learned about myself without even trying.

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Love changes us. It starts off with such a pure and sweet outlook of love, life, and people. But as we age we see the way people will hurt you, betray you, lie to you, and leave you. It makes us colder and jaded without us even realizing. We go through the motions, but do we truly let ourselves be vulnerable to someone again after we get hurt the first time? We let ourselves believe in the fairy tales, we all dream of the romance where we meet someone and it just clicks perfectly. We know without a second thought they are our soulmate. They complete us in every way we never knew we were missing, but what a load of malarky. It’s not that simple. First because the only person who can make us complete is ourselves. We make or break our lives, yes, it does add to have someone who creates a world with you, together you build toward something bigger than ourselves, but we can just as easily find happiness with transitory people because the expectation is that they won’t remain, so we enjoy them while we can for however fleeting the time is.

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After our first heartbreak we understand what it means to lose a part of ourselves. And from then on out, we’re a little more guarded and mistrustful. But the biggest betrayal is always the one we never see coming. It’s the one that blinds us to anyone else for a long time. The one where your heart hurts thinking of them again and the tears fall again. You don’t realize that you’ve changed until it’s a few relationships down the road and you catch yourself with one foot out the door already because you’re keeping your heart safe. You’re keeping yourself from getting attached. You’re preventing yourself from giving your heart to someone else to smash it, but it’s keeping you from finding your happiness. Happiness with another is an extension of your own happiness. Nothing defines you, except what you allow to define you.

There comes a point in our lives in which we look at this life we’ve created and realize there are changes to be made. Maybe it’s the scene we’re in, maybe it’s the people that surround us, but something has to change. We can’t stay in the same place forever, thinking we can get something from a place that doesn’t love us back. So sometimes, it comes down to self-love and realizing that you need to make a decision to find happiness in a place that shines back on you.

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