Posted in Advice

Doubts, Fears, Insecurity, The Works of the Devil

These pit you to fail. But sometimes they’re your gut telling you this isn’t right or meant to be. Perhaps it’s this generation, where romance and wooing have fallen out of favor to quick and easy hook-ups. Perhaps it’s just the fact that we understand life isn’t as neat as we had thought when we were just children. No one prepared us for the doubts of how much someone else cares. No one prepped us for the fear of caring too much or not caring enough. No one told us that insecurity can doom a relationship, and no one told us how hard a relationship really is.

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Sometimes we just need to step back and be objective. Live and let learn, but also keep moving. As I’ve said to my mom a fair amount lately, if I want until I’m ready to make a change, I’ll never make a move. Sometimes I just need a leap of faith that I’ll be okay even if I’m not ready for it all at once. Our priorities change, and suddenly one day we look at ourselves in the mirror and wonder how we ever got to where we are now. How did things become this way, and how do we make changes for ourselves. We’re all going to experience fear, fear of the unknown, the changing, the new, the old, the past, and the future. We can’t but help feel helpless and in uncharted waters.

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A relationship needs to be built on a few key elements; trust, understanding, and compassion. There are many other aspects which are needed for success, but these three stand out because without trust, there is always going to be doubt and insecurity. How do you build a relationship to stand the test of time if you can’t trust them? You have to be understanding. Understand yourself. Understand how they operate, and work around their weaknesses accordingly. Understand there is going to be miscommunication and anger at times, just as there will be laughing and love. Understanding your dynamic also is crucial, it’s going to make or break you. And compassion; above all have compassion for one another. It’s hard, to take two very unique and quirky people and expect them to meld into one cohesive unit. It’s harder than you could have ever imagined as a kid about what it takes to make a relationship work. So while it’s all too easy to place the blame on the other, sometime we need to look at ourselves as well and see how we can be better.

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