There’s a philosophical theory in which every other outcome or choice we could’ve made has played out in a different dimension or world. I like to think there is a possibility of truth to this premise, in every decision ever calculated could have been true. Somewhere this is an aspect of myself who waited for a marine to see I was the best person to happen to him. Somewhere there is an aspect of me who picked the aggressive, and perfectly terrible boyfriend and then in turn left him when he could no longer give me what I needed. Somewhere there is a part of me who stayed with the boring and unexciting future with my most recent ex. Somewhere there is a version of myself who decided to travel the world, and a part that picked up her life and moved to Ireland like she claimed. A part who sought of the love of travel above a life of routine and boredom.
Do I wish sometimes I took a different path, yes. Of course I do, but would I change anything about my life? Not a chance. Do I wish sometimes I was braver and threw caution to the wind without a second thought, only some days. I feel I’ve found out a lot about myself living this life I chose, but I’m also still learning. A lot of what I learned wouldn’t be taught had I up and left all my actual adult responsibilities. So to justify why I lead a routine and mundane life, for now, is okay by me. I still have dreams, dreams of having horses, working on a farm, having tons of dogs, loving life and having a partner who brings out the best in me.
To the other mes, while I would love to see how my life could have played out differently, had I picked a different school, made my own path, blazed a trail of total uncertainty, I am entirely comfortable with how my life has changed. I understand about keeping friendship alive is a lot tougher now than it was when we all lived in the same city. I value the time spent with friends, no matter how short since it’s never long enough. It’s not to say those friendships wouldn’t exist in other dimensions, it’s that who knows how they would be today.
I’m grateful for all the different moments in time I captured with others in my life, I’m thankful to be where I am today with all the tasks, trials, and errors I’ve come through.