When growing up, change can hurt you.
The unexpected can pull the rug right from your feet. The words of reassurance aren’t always what you wanted to hear. The familiar also becomes foreign. Is it fear? Is it hesitation? If we don’t utter the words aloud, does it make them go away? How do you express your loss of trust? How do you go about getting over stuff? How do you be the bigger person? Does it make it hurt less? No. It stings all the same.
It leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth and a little less trusting. You take things said to you with a grain of salt. You wonder about what their endgame is. You have moments of total doubt and feel alone. More alone than you had in awhile.
Who do you talk to about this? Who reassures you? Who can make it all better? No one and that’s how life happens when you grow up. You begin to trust and rely on someone, not truly knowing if your best interests are in their heart or if they’ll just play you til you’re useless to them. What hurts the most is knowing that nothing can be changed, but everything from here is also changed. The timeline has been altered and nothing can repair the crack. It’ll take time and it’ll take patience, but most of all, it’ll take forgiveness.
Mistakes happen, but what’s more important is moving forward and continuing to build toward a future that is what both people/parties want. It’s not easy, as I’ve told friends, to be in a relationship. Because two people are attempting to co-exist with each of their own set of quirks and what could be seen as flaws. What’s important is both parties work for harmony in their own setting.