Posted in Advice

Somehow taking control of your life is empowering and terrifying

Adulting is more stressful than one can anticipate, but at the same time, it’s so exciting. It’s amazing how we think for so long how we’re waiting for our lives to begin, and what we’re not seeing is that our lives begin as soon as we’re born. We just get so conditioned and stuck in “getting more” we sometimes fail to see “here we are.” There’s something about the golden dream we have in our minds when we’re in school, “oh in five years, my life is going to be like ___________.” When in reality, life rarely plays out like a movie or a TV show, nothing is scripted. Things change in a heartbeat and really it’s what we make of what is in front of us that helps make or break our dreams.

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Yes, obviously if you work hard and put in your time, it would seem only fair to get a payout, but it doesn’t always seem to be the case. I firmly believe in the luck of the draw, sometimes it seems like everything is going in your favor, nothing can get you down, but on the flip side sometimes there are days, weeks, even months where the hits keep coming.

 

Starting on your own is so empowering, beyond anything anyone will tell you, because finally you have the power to make the decisions. You get to carve a path which is uniquely yours. You get to see the fruits of your labor blossom into something beautiful, and you get to look back, fondly on the hardships to where you are now. You become the master of your domain. How hard you want to work, how invested you become, how much your work becomes your life, all those decisions are dictated by you.

It’s also the most terrifying experience thus far in your lives because you’ve never really been accountable for the outcomes of your decisions. There has always been a safety net for you and making decisions has never really been a fly or die way of thinking, not to say that adulthood is, but it has it moments where you get tested. You see your true set of skills never used before, will you crack under the pressure or will you rise up and show them all what you’re made of?

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Posted in Advice

Snapchat; What in the World

Well as most people know, snapchat is an app which lets you send pictures to your friends (contacts) for up to 10 seconds, but also you can post pics and vids to your own story which can be see by anyone in your list for up to 24 hours. But they have these filters which let you alter your selfie or your picture taking side, which is awesome, but totally scary (if you don’t know it’s gonna happen to you).

But this is my favorite, and they got rid of it 😦

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Long eyelashes, and dark lipstick, I would never in actuality, but it was fun to see how I could maybe potentially pull off the goth look. H didn’t take it as well as I did, and his reaction was “what the hell is that”

*sigh* thanks a lot har. Thanks for bursting my bubble that I could pull off the dark look.

But look, it’s so pretty!

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Oh well, perhaps, it’ll look better in actuality.

Posted in Advice

Because I love Bodie, Here are Too Many Pics of Him

I’ve had Bodie now for a year and change (15 months to be exact) and my life has changed so much. So much for the better, and I’m so thankful for this little dog who has not only helped me grow up, he’s taught me patience, unconditional love, exploration, keeping me healthy and active, and to have fun. He’s also taught me to stand up for myself and to be a tiger if you need to be.

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Even as a nugget, this little dude provided so many laughs.

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His face, more telling than some people, has always had perfected the side eye and the ‘what is wrong with you mom’ look.

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Some of his habits never change.

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He’s embraced his inner lab and loves food.

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But more than anything, he’s just my baby and I love him more and more each day.

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With each passing day, he gets a little more obedient, a little more loyal, and a little more dependable.

 

As someone who has only ever had pure-bred pets, I wasn’t sure how well it would work out with a mixed breed pet. Half lab, half pointer, which personality would be more dominant? Well the lab love the food, and attention, but the pointer is much more focused on the smells and sights than listening to me. The pointer is far more independent than the lab, which tends to more I yell at him to listen, but with food, the lab is increasingly more present.

I’ll be the first to say, adopt don’t shop. Adopt a beautiful animal and let them shower you in thanks each and every day.

Posted in Advice

Good Bye to 410 N 32nd Street

Time to start a new chapter. My life on a college campus is finally coming to an end. I’ve signed a lease, dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s. Time to move from the perfect home I’ve had of the last 5 years at 410 N 32nd Street and moving over to Center City West.

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With the end of an era coming to a close, so do all the memories I let linger, never fully giving myself the closure. I now get to walk away; scot free and with nothing holding me back. I get my keys today, and it’s 8 days until I move. The anticipation is building.

 

I’m bidding farewell to a lot of my adult life so far. Second to my childhood home in Maryland, this is the second longest place I’ve lived. Seven years and it’s seen so many tears, so many memories, so many friends come and go. It’s been my place of refuge and solace, it’s been my prison. It’s been where I grew up. But now it’s time to set my sights on bigger and better dreams. To embrace the world around me, my life is about to change for the best.

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Today I get the keys to my place. Today I get to start moving and shaping how the next year of my life is going to be set up, and excited doesn’t even begin to do it justice. We’re down to the final week before my move is complete. It’s going to be a task, but I’m ready. The time has come to what I can do. I guess it helps that I’ve found a great guy who makes me smile on the reg, who makes me laugh more than I thought possible, and a little brown dog who’s a hoot and a half.

 

Here’s to the start of a new chapter, to bigger and brighter dreams, to living my life the way I want and deserve, and to starting to understand how this thing called ‘life’ works!

Posted in Advice, Love

It Starts Again… (Part 8)

Our first weekend away and we headed to DC.

If you had asked me when this began, what I was thinking would come of it… I couldn’t tell you, but this was something I’d been looking forward to for a while.

We left Friday night for DC and the only place open around 10:30pm was our local diner. A staple of Bethesda, so we went over there for a quick dinner and were joined by some high schoolers (man we definitely were old) and after dinner we changed and popped over to Gringos and Mariachis where we had a few drinks and then headed home.

Saturday morning we woke up and dressed for the day (including an outfit change for us both!). We headed off to the zoo to 1- find the baby panda Bei Bei (which we succeeded in doing) and 2- to see the lovely animals of the zoo. After our short and sweet adventure, including seeing some lions and tigers, we headed down to the Kennedy Center. 

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During the intermission, we wandered to the balcony for a view of DC (one of my faves views ever, see above ^), After the ballet ended we went over to the restaurant across the street and we split a piece of cheesecake together. We headed downtown and popped into Rosa Mexicano before dinner, plus we wanted to spend time together alone.

We popped over to the portrait gallery for a little browsing before dinner at 7. It was my first time there, so that was fun. After we got kicked out, we headed to Graffiato where Mer picked, for our first double date. Dinner was tasty and the company was fun. Post dinner we walked to Milk, an off-shoot of Momofuku for some dessert (a corn cookie- literally cornbread in a cookie form).

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Post Dinner at Graffiato (PC; NJES)

Following parting ways with Mer and Matt, we headed to Dupont to see Aliza. We went to go to Public House, but instead ended up a Irish Whiskey Public House, apparently much more our atmosphere for our energy levels. Lemon Drop and I messaged, and she came over to meet Harrison and I for a drink. It was great seeing her, and also letting him talk her ear off for a change (haha). After we finished our drinks, we headed back to Bethesda to pass out.
Sunday AM, we went to the original house of pancakes in Bethesda. Learned a scottish way to each silver dollar pancakes, butter and sugar. Then we went and picked up Bodie and were on our way back to Philly.

Posted in Love

Happy Birthday To One of My Favorite Humans Alive

It’s Lemon Drop’s 25th birthday, meaning I’ve known her for about a decade…

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Wow let me, let that sink in for a minute.

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Seniors… circa 2009 (PC; RD)

And now, here we go. I’ve known her since high school (perhaps I knew of her in middle school, but we didn’t become friends until Whitman). We’ve grown up, moved to different cities for college, and while she came home, I’m still in Philly. We have so much in common, and yet we’re so different. She and I both, bubbly, and out-going, she’s much more the social butterfly than myself. I prefer smaller groups, and she’s the life of the party. But I digress…

Not only is she one of the sweetest people I know, she’s incredibly loyal, smart beyond anything, and one of the prettiest people in my life. She’s a bubbly and friendly personality, she’s the life of the party, and she’s so genuine, it’s a fresh breath of air.

I honestly couldn’t ask for a better half than her because she makes the world a brighter place.

 

Happy beautiful 25th Birthday Lemon Drop

 

xoxo,

Snickerdoodles

Posted in Advice

Get Outta That Shell…. Live a Little

It’s not easy to change yourself from who you are to who you want to be. But here’s are a few ways in which you can break out of your usual self, and be the person you want to be.

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  1. Fake it til you make it; no one can tell you don’t know what you’re doing. None of us know either. So fake that smile. Fake that confidence. Get in on making sure you shine, the rest will fall in place.
  2. Book a trip; go somewhere new. Be brave and set your sights on an exotic and different location. You’ll surprise yourself when you see you’re more prepared for adventure than you think.
  3. Go solo; it might be in your comfort zone to always be around others, but cut that out. Go do something completely alone and embrace it. Contrary to what we might think, most of the world is too self involved to even notice you, so why sit back and do nothing because you’re scared of what others might think.
  4. Seek solace; find something that brings you peace and channel your inner guru to resist the urge to follow your instinct, be that what it may, and do the opposite. Don’t wanna sing karaoke? Take a shot, and get up there.
  5. Laugh; laugh so hard your abs hurt, your cheeks hurt, tears stream down your face, you can’t draw a breath. Amazingly, laughter is truly the best medicine in my book. It can change your mood completely and bring light into your day.

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Don’t worry so much about the unknown, just embrace life as it comes and go for the ride.

Posted in Advice

Open Letter to Friends I’ve Only Just Met

I want to thank you for entering my life and making age seem like just a number. Both professionally and personally, friendships can be hard to come by. True friendships, which stand the test of time. Not all of them are fated to last. Some take more work than others, but I feel it’s worth saying that sometimes the new shiny friendships can last a lifetime.

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I will be the first to admit since graduating college, life has gotten more complicated. It’s messier than I ever imagined, and no one is telling you how to live your life. All these decisions fall squarely onto your back, and you’re like ‘shit, I don’t know what I’m doing.’ It’s a blindingly terrifying reality that sets in slowly. And it starts with making friends. It’s not exactly easy to meet people once you leave school. No longer are there a ton of opportunities to meet new folks every 10 weeks (15 if you went to a semester school). You have to go out and meet strangers on your own.

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I’m really grateful I have a dog, since I’ve met a lot of new friends through Bodie and playdates. Between Shannon, Carly, Anshu, Neil, Shane, and now Mike, I’ve made friends with these fellow dog people. It’s nice too, because they’re young working professionals/graduating seniors/graduate students, so their lifestyles tend to match mine a little more than the undergraduates. I value their friendship, not only because of the pups, but also because they can relate to my life and how it goes as, essentially a parent.

I want to thank the new friends for being a source of laughter, support, venting, and fun! Between walks around the city, playdates at the park, walking to the other dog park, spa days at Unleashed, and puppy trading, I’m grateful for the expansion of enrichment in my life.

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I want to thank my new friends for being brunch buddies, after work drinking companions, snapchat senders, and insta likers. I want to thank my new friends for making me fall in love with this city more than I thought possible. I want to thank my new friends for showing me my life can be what I make of it, and with friends who will drink wine at the park with you on a Friday night, friends who’ll walk with you even in shitty weather, freeze their asses off at the park, laugh when you hide behind them when the dogs come barreling through, and more, it’s worth calling Philly home.

 

So I thank you.

Posted in Advice

Open Letter to the Friends I’ve Grown Away From

I want to thank you for being a part of my life, even if our lives no longer cross. For a certain amount of time, you were in my life, worth my time, worth getting to know and adding value to my life. Perhaps our lives took different directions and we just physically moved apart. Perhaps, it was an emotional divide unable to be conquered. But whatever it was, I thank you. I thank you for shaping me into who I am today. I have memories with each and every one of you, good and bad, dramatic and low-key, funny and tragic.

Perhaps I outgrew you, perhaps you outgrew me. Perhaps it was just a temporary friendship to help us both launch into better and bigger things? As much as I wish I could say all my friends are still with me today from day one, I cannot. From college, I can count on one hand who is still in touch with me. From childhood, I can count on one hand who I know are reliably in my life and can be counted on for anything and everything. I’m blessed my circle of friends has grown, but also the friendships which have stood the test of time have gotten stronger and stronger, even if we all live in different cities.

I think back to the days of high school, perhaps we were just fleeting friends, acquaintances rather than friends. We didn’t really hang out beyond school or when we’d run into each other in town. We would exchange hellos and “how are you’s” and be on our way. If I saw you now, I’d say hi and small talk again, but it wouldn’t amount to anything beyond the superficial and I’m okay with that. For a while I felt that,  I should try harder,  but I realize that amount of work to put into keeping certain relationships going, isn’t always worth it. Sometimes you gotta let go of people to let better people come change your life.

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I want to thank the college friends who lasted a few years in my life. You helped make me me, you helped create amazing memories and nights spent up too late, you helped to show me what I needed out of real friends. I don’t regret a moment spent with some of you. Yes, we had some fights, but damn did we have good times. I want to thank my old college roommate. Thank you for being the person I needed you to be when I was 18. Thanks for being the person I realized I couldn’t keep in my life, because my dreams and my hopes were beyond the scope of what you wanted. Thank you for being the best roommate I could’ve ask for as a freshman. But what I owe you more, is the deepest and sincerest apology.

 

If you ever read this, not likely you will, but please know you were an incredible force in my life. You taught me more than I can even express, but if there’s one thing I wish I could say to you it’s this;
I’m sorry. Pure and simple. I’m sorry for not being able to be the friend who understood you in all the ways you were. I’m sorry for the last fight we had, and for not seeing that nothing I could say would change your course. They say sometimes it takes loving someone so much it breaks your heart, to see, you’ll never change them. I’m sorry for all the things I said in the heat of the moment. But more than anything, I’m sorry I lost my best friend of two years because you were a big part of my life. You helped me transition into the real world, become accountable, and be fierce. Maybe I overreacted at the fuel which sparked our months’ long fight. Maybe I should’ve been more understanding. Perhaps, even if I had, we still would’ve grown apart. All that’s left to say, is, I hope your life is what you wanted, I hope your dreams have come true, I hope you’ve found happiness, and I want to thank you for being my friend.

Posted in Advice

Adult Hood, Welcome

We live in this bubble as students. Where we don’t always fully grasp what entails being an adult, but also we want the freedom to be as wild and free as we want. We like to think we’re adults, making our own decisions when we’re still tethered to relying on our parents for funding and capital. Once we graduate, we come out with this list of must-haves and unrealistic expectations of how the real world is for us. We think the world owes us something and we’re entitled to be who we think we are, instead of seeing who we really are… plebs, babies, freshmen, newbies.

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Nothing is owed to us, in fact, we owe the world. We owe our parents for providing for us for the past 22 years, we owe our professors for pushing us past our limits, we owe our friends for putting up with us at our worse, drunk, crying, and mad selves, we owe our exes for being what we needed (even if it was only temporary) when we needed them and also for the drunk, angry, phone calls, we owe ourselves for growing and changing from being 18 and knowing nothing to being 22 and still knowing not much more. We owe ourselves the patience to know, nothing is learned overnight.

It’s a lot like falling in love, there is absolutely no control, there are no brakes, there is nothing to catch you. You figure it out as you go, fall along the way, get dragged and cut up, but every time you get back up to try again. Each time you get a little better at falling, learn what is going to try to get you, and what is going to help set you apart.

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Adulthood is not as glamorous as we imagine as kids. There’s a constant strum of stress which becomes as common as our breath. The stress of the unknown. The stress of the future. The stress of making ends meet. Bills to pay. Saving versus spending. How to understand this “adulting” and how to survive it. Well it’s a learning process, one that has taken all the knowledge we’ve obtained thus far and applying it to totally new experiences. More than that, we’re also learning as we go how to function in society as successful and accomplished individuals.