Posted in Advice

Growing Up Looks A Lot Like Chaos

I realized I deserved more than I had gotten before. A great start to a college relationship and toward building a future. I thought I had finally found someone who would see what I was made of and treat me as such. A relationship takes time to build trust, but it’s so easy – oh so easy – to let the winds of the past shape the future with another. It’s so easy to let those doubts and fears overrun your new try. As I got older, I’ve started to look at the people I was building a relationship with as potential partner.

Advice I wish I’d taken sooner… but I learned, boy did I learn.

I never foresaw myself with someone who didn’t have the same high ambition, dreams, and aspirations as myself. I was always taught to dream big, I have always been fearless, even when I’m so not sure of where to go. I’ve always been a leader and a go-getter. Never one to put up with bullshit and wait around. Bu I ended up, stagnant in a place that never loved me back with someone whose passion wasn’t close to mine.

For the time in college, it worked, dating was easy and simple. Hang out, drink, go to parties, throw parties, have no real responsibilities, but when one starts to grow up and transition into being an adult, change happens. At that point, I started to accept my pending adulthood and how I could no longer hide behind the world of no responsibilities.

IMG_0708I never thought I’d become complacent in my own world and life. Let others dictate my actions. When I look back on my choices in college, both romantically and academically, I wonder what I was thinking. Man, if I could do it all over, I’d take a one way ticket to Europe, travel, meet like minded people, fall in love with a country, a nation, a culture, and find myself there.

If I could do it all over, I’d pick a school I felt at home with, I would challenge myself to be a different person. I would pick a school because I could see myself living in the area, building a life, and being happy. I wouldn’t change a lot from my life, but if I really understood what people meant about you settle where you go to school, I would’ve picked differently.  I hope for my future children their decisions are always their choice and never because they let themselves blindly follow what everyone else is doing. Be  brave and forceful.


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