Posted in Advice, Love

How a Heart Breaks

I think Logan Echolls says it all in breaking up with Veronica (*sigh*): “I’m not built to stand on the sidelines. And I think we have a choice. I think we can take a tough, but survivable amount of pain now…or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later. So I vote for the pain now. But I’m always here… if you need anything. But you never need anything.”

Pure and simple, heart breaks are sometimes the best option. We, as humans, need to protect our greatest interest, ourselves. Before the outrage pours, hear me out. It’s our nature to look for a mate and to continue our line, because we want to survive. Survive, that’s the operative word. Survival is only possible when we make sure we don’t remain in a place which keeps us from growing, improving, learning, and adding to the lives around us. A heart break, as terrible as it is in the moment, is reparable. It’s possible to move on and live again, to love again. We see it all the time. We fall out of love, out of lust, out of desire, out of companionship, and other variables, but eventually we always find our way back to love.

A heart breaks differently each time. Sometimes after we rejoice the freedom. Sometimes we mourn the loss of a love like none before and none to follow. Sometimes the hole never heals and nothing can repair us. Sometimes it’s the feeling of our first heart break. Sometimes it’s remembering the first heart we broke. Sometimes it’s the heart we stole from another. Sometimes it’s when our heart is stolen. As F Scott Fitzgerald said, “There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.” 

It gets so easy to stay stuck. We get wrapped up in the fact that we lost a part of ourselves, but we forget so many other people loved us before and will after. There are people who have loved us silently and never once said a word. There are people who have loved us unconditionally. There are people who learned to love because of you. There are people who learned to be better because of your love. It’s funny once we get past our own heartbreak, we see the world with different eyes. A little softer, a little kinder, a little gentler. How we should always be.

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