Today marks a remarkable day. Not only is it a minor holiday, it’s a day in which I can officially say I’ve breathed on this planet for a quarter of a century, 25 years! It’s amazing to think about the changes I’ve undergone since being born. For a long time, I never knew anyone who shared the same birthday as me, and now I have a hovel of birthday buddies. From sorority sisters to classmates to colleagues, it’s a fun day to be born!
But let’s get to the reflections and contemplation of where I got to where I am today…
I really can say, it’s only been since I turned 22 that I’ve felt like an adult and really embraced the entirety of being a grown up adult (it’s not always easy). I have to say, I’ve had it easy for the most part. I’ve been lucky and haven’t had as many struggles and obstacles to overcome as my fellow peers may have. I was able to go to a prestigious university, study abroad, live on my “own,” work and play, as well as just live a pretty care-free life. I didn’t have to juggle between student loans, working multiple jobs, AND go to class on top of that, I was able to have spending money and plenty of time to go out with friends. But there is so much I wish I’d known 5 years ago, what I would do differently, how I’ve changed and grown, but do I have regrets? Hell no.
As this year has started to move, I realize I want to work on being the person my younger self would be proud of, I want to be the parent my kids admire and look up to, I want to make this year the beginning of who I truly am. In no ways do I think I’ve ever hidden who I am, I can’t deny my quirks and personality. I’ve never been the person who’s felt like I needed to hide parts of myself to make people like me. Either you like me or you don’t. I find there isn’t much middle ground with me.
I also realize, through many conversations, but also through some soul searching, I have a hard time reading some of the articles written by people on TheThoughtCatalog. I have this firm belief we are inherently are contradictions. We can’t be put into cookie cutter shapes and say we’re all one way all the time. I vary in the realm of human emotions. We’re always changing and growing, but more often we are waging war with ourselves. I deeply believe we can see everything on varying levels which is why I believe I’m always contradicting myself.
I’ve always seen myself as a romantic, but over the years, I’ve become jaded and realize what entails making a relationship work. See, this is where the contradictions come into play; I want to be an equal, but I also want to be a princess. I’ve been raised and work on the belief that if you want a successful relationship you both have to put the time and effort into making sure you grow together. I want someone to adore and respect me, but also know without a doubt in their mind I will always work to make sure our lives can be the best. I’ve never been the type who has needed to be coddled and treated like I’m gonna break at the slightest suggestion of work. But I’m learning what’s acceptable for me and what will make me walk away.
But I digress… I think back to where I thought I’d be at 25 and honestly, I feel like I’m mostly where I was to be. Yea I wish I had a few less problems and a little more money, but all in all, I can pay my bills because I have a job, I have a dog because I can afford the luxury, I drive a car because I can afford the expenses. I’m lucky and I’m grateful. There is no doubt my life could be filled with more hardships or issues and it could also be easier. It’s all part luck of the draw and part how hard we work.
So I guess here lies the journey that lasts a lifetime! 25 will be all I’ve imagined it to be and then some. Here’s to good friends, better memories, and the best life I can live! ❤