Posted in Advice

The First of First Dates; DC Edition

And time to tell my tales of meeting these bumble folks. They’re a stitch.

So after a first date in Philly, I trekked down to DC for a second-first date. With a guy who was from my hometown. 

I decided since I was in town, I’d stop to see a friend on my way to my date because why not? I’m free and single. 

Well it would be my luck, to try to get back on the red line, only to be told it was going to be 20 minute late, thanks DC for the construction. Me being a considerate human being, I texted my date and kindly let him know he wasn’t being stood up, but rather I was going to be casually late. His response, ‘no problem, you can make it up with a drink’ and totally acceptable response to a late date. 

Once I finally got there, I immediately didn’t feel the spark of initial attraction. Not sure what it was, but I already knew this wasn’t a match to be made. But a free dinner, why not!

Throughout the conversation, I realized why this guy was totally still single. He was a perfectly nice and sweet guy, but he was just too sweet (something my co-workers makes fun of me for saying) and a bit too arrogant. He had the Bethesda superiority and I didn’t like it one bit. At one point he referenced that I was “a bit too young” and he almost didn’t want to go out with me because of my age… I’m sorry 24 to your 27, get off your fucking high horse, you moronic imbecile. That’s nothing, perhaps if we were in high school and you were 18 and I was 15, then it’s creepy…

But I digress. 

Another sign this was going downhill; actually two signs- 1; a pretentious comment about how of course the people from Bethesda are both wearing North Face jackets (okay asshole, what, no one else can buy a North Face jacket… GTFO) and then he actually made me pay for the drinks. I get it, it can be a joke to say she’s got to pay for the drinks cause she’s late, it’s another thing to ACTUALLY make her pay. 

Well I agreed to go hang out at another bar, because again, why not? Got a second drink, only to not finish it and he made another comment, like ‘oh, I see you’re a half drink kind of girl’ (oh fuck off). 

Finally I decided to end my own misery and decided to take off before the Metro shut down for the night.. He walked me to the station, but what shocked me more than anything was he actually thought if he made a move there it would work! (It did not color him any better in my mind). He attempted to kiss me at the entrance to the Metro and I just kinda ducked and then ran away. No thank you!

Anyway, tale one to regale. There are plenty more!

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