Posted in Advice

Online Dating… how it happened for me

Tinder. Bumble. Grindr. Happn. Match.

What. The. Fuck.

I got my first push into the world of online dating this past year, good ole 2015. A year of firsts, that’s for damn sure. (More on that another day). Having never used an app since I’d been in a relationship since 2012, I was freaking and nervous. ‘What if  I get catfished?’ ‘Or ghosted’  ‘Or whatever else has been a horror story for online daters…’ but I had to take a leap. Living in a city I had never developed love for, not having friends close anymore (all had moved away), and feeling sorry for myself, I had to take some action into my own hands. I downloaded Bumble and figured I’d give it a shot.

I wasn’t going to try Tinder, too many horror stories from my old roommate. I didn’t need drama in my life. I needed something to be easy and casual, and I sure as hell wasn’t looking for meaningless hook-ups.

Bumble seemed friendly enough; the woman had to make the first move (a plus for me), and I gave myself some parameters because I refused to get sucked into mind fuckery.

Rules for myself:

  1. When swiping right, they have to have something in their bio.
  2. Must be older than myself (range 27-32). I had had enough of the younger guys who didn’t have their shit together.
  3. I’ll send out a “hello,” “hey,” “how’s it going” first to those I deemed worth my time (I know, I know, such a bitch, but this was the game to be played).
  4. If there was no response within 24 hours, I would unmatch. I had no desire to wait around; either for their powertrip to end or if they weren’t actively on.
  5. If I got a response, I’d see how the conversation flowed. If they seemed like a fuck-boy, ‘see ya sucker’ but if they seemed to be legit and nice, I’d see where it went.

There are way too many options for dating now with the ease of using a phone or computer. It’s too easy to swipe left on people who you have no interest in, but on the other token, it’s nice. Clearly with the dating apps, it’s the immediate judgment on how attractive they are to you, based solely on their looks. A shallow start, but it would seem it’s also just as likely to happen at a bar with the person who catches your eye.


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